2023年的新词出来了，又好笑又真实！
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生活就像淋浴，方向转错，水深火热。
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脱贫不像脱发那么容易，发福倒是远比发财轻松。
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所谓完美的婚姻就是：男人完了，女人美了。
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表面都是心连心，背后都在玩脑筋。
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官再大，钱再多，阎王照样往里拖。
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爷爷都是从孙子走过来的……
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人生就像打电话，不是你先挂，就是我先挂。
长寿秘诀 —— 保持呼吸，不要断气。
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“矮是什么感觉？”“所有人见我都抬不起头！
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病从口入，祸从口出，所以闭嘴最安全！
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得不到的才更加爱，太容易的却不理睬。
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沉稳做人，要吃胖一点，又沉又稳。
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生活就像心电图，一帆风顺就证明你挂了。
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人和猪的区别就是猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人！
别说你是单身狗，狗到你这个年龄已经死了。
地球是运动的，一个人不会永远处在倒霉的位置。
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假如生活欺骗了你，不要着急，拿出美颜相机，去欺骗生活。
没有不变的承诺，只有说不完的谎言。
幸福，是因为欲望比能力小；烦恼，是因为欲望比能力大。
我的人生信条就是：像孙子一样活几十年，熬成爷爷再死。
活着浪费空气，死了浪费土地，半死不活浪费人民币。
信息秒回，约见守时，按时还钱，不管闲事。——当下四大美德！
哄领导开心就做做假，哄群众开心就做做秀；哄自己开心就做做梦。
都说婚姻是爱情的坟墓，可没有婚姻，爱情将死无葬身之地……
最快变成哲学家的是老公，最快变成经济学家的是老婆，最快变成战略家的是丈母娘。
医院对于我们每个人意味着三个阶段，它是生命的报到处，是健康的维修站，是灵魂的发射台。
现在60后一手遮天，90后无法无天，00后都被宠上了天，50后的吃喝玩乐，天天都是星期天，可怜的70和80后活得是一天不如一天。
老婆的首字母是LP，而漂亮的首字母是PL。我忽然明白了，老婆往往和漂亮是相反的。
人生六话：和上司说美话，和下属说丑话，和老婆说谎话，和情人说瞎话，和熟人说笑话，和生人说鬼话。
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